I had to cut out all the noise

When “proven strategies” pulled me further away from what actually works

Original image by Taryn Elliott via pexels. Edited by Author.

All the noise slowly became undeniable pressure, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. Even as I was gaining traction on Substack, I had to walk away.

Because… it became a part of the problem.

My feed (and inbox) was filled with Substack and business growth strategies. Most of them just felt like bro marketing with different outfits on. I felt tired. I felt jaded. I felt fed up and frustrated.

I became severely “allergic” to bro marketing in all its forms that I had a strong physical and emotional reaction to it each time I came in contact with it: disgust.

It was visible on my face. It was seething through my voice. I didn’t like who I was becoming by being near it. My optimistic, hopeful self turned skeptical, judgmental, and utterly drained.

I was done… once again.

I seriously tried to coexist with it all by muting and unsubscribing. I tried to be mentally strong with resilience and willpower… but its ability to pull me back in was too strong. It knew exactly how to manipulate me into just trying one more proven strategy with unbelievable results, signing up for one more instant success tip I “didn’t know”, and buying another solution that would solve it all.

And each time I gave in, I saw that it was just the same old stuff I’ve heard about and tried. It was the same bait and switch of this one “easy” piece of the picture that would change it all. But that is never, ever the full picture. They have to make it look easy… else, honestly, no one would buy.

Ultimately, those marketing strategies turned my hope and my dreams against me. Dangling the carrot of easily making tons of money and becoming successful with these shortcuts always became the stick that drove me to work more, work harder, and keep chasing after the next thing.

…and I no longer wanted to play that game, in any form.

So in order for me to stop that incessant cycle I somehow kept getting myself into, I had to completely step away this time. I went on a digital detox because I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts anymore. I felt hard distinguishing what truly felt right for me versus what had been programmed into me by hustle culture over these years.

I had to quiet all that noise. I went into my hermit hole, and I only popped out to serve my clients and support my inner circle… and I enjoyed my hermitty digital detox so much that I kept on extending it.

…until I eventually felt the pull to come back.

But before I could, something had to be completely different this time. I didn’t want to repeat any of my old workaholic cycles.

I had to return on my own pace and on my own terms. I had to feel mentally strong enough to hold my own as I reapproach all that the noise again. So I took the time to work through my mental holdups, clarify what actually feels good to me, and relook at “Soulfueled” in a different way.

Coming back here couldn’t feel like an obligation. I had to make this enjoyable and sustainable for me… for the long term and through this next stage of life—motherhood.

Without a doubt, pregnancy made it very clear that my capacity and energy had to be refocused and reprioritized. My body no longer allowed me to push and override my own signals in the way that I used to, and postpartum will take that to a whole other level when I’m running on little sleep and taking care of a newborn as a first time mom.

There was no wiggling out of this reality:

I DO NOT have the time and patience
to do those things that no longer work for me.

So! Here’s an overview of the 5 things I’ve decided as my nonnegotiables for my return:

🙅🏻‍♀️1️⃣ I’m not going to write weekly or be on Substack Notes just to satisfy the algorithm.

✨ I’m accepting that my growth here will be slow, but I would rather build an audience based on resonance rather than virality or fighting to get noticed.

---

🙅🏻‍♀️2️⃣ I’m not publishing on a schedule or churning out content for the sake of performing consistently… just so that you remember I exist. I no longer want to participate in all that noise.

✨ I’ll be publishing here whenever I feel like I have something to say. So there will be no filler content here! I’ll be openly sharing from my heart the insights and discoveries I’ve gained as I unlearn my overdoing and workaholic tendencies and as I slow down my life and business to become my own version of Soulfueled.

---

🙅🏻‍♀️3️⃣ I’m not going to use AI to write any of this content (and it’s not because I’m anti-AI).

✨ Because I’m choosing to use this Substack as a form of my self expression. I want this to truly come from me. I’m taking the time and energy to manually generate all this because I value your time and attention in reading it. Sure, AI would be faster, but nothing beats me speaking/writing directly to you.

---

🐢4️⃣ I’ll be slow to respond to comments… maybe even 🐌 snail crawling slow for now.

✨ My slowness is because I’m choosing to limit my time on this platform right now and because I care so much about you taking the time to leave a comment here that I want to reply to you from a good, positive state, not out of obligation or dread. I truly value you leaving a comment and liking my posts because it shows me what I share resonated and it mattered to you, too. So my appreciation doesn’t come from an instant response, but from a thoughtful, caring reply.

Being in engagement pods and spending hours per day responding and commenting eventually took a toll on me. I met some amazing people, but it oversocialized my inner introvert. I do feel bad about not responding sooner, but learning to prioritize my energy first is the more crucial lesson for me. (So in the meantime, all I can hope is that you’ll forgive me!)

---

🌱5️⃣ In the past few months, I’ve been quietly reviving my old website for Soulfueled and writing some deeper posts there about the patterns and tendencies of high achievers that end up holding them back. Why? Because I wanted a space to write freely, without any external influences, as I was figuring out how I wanted to evolve Soulfueled from what it was last year.

Oh, how that goes against what all those marketing and growth strategists tell you to do, but I did it anyway because… I needed that for ME. I wanted to get clear about my own stance and approach, and I thought the best way was to just start somewhere, even if it’s in a silo, and just write.

Are you starting to see a thread in those 5 decisions I made?

The foundation for anything Soulfueled you’re trying to build and sustain is making sure that it truly works for you first—your personality, your tendencies, your preferences, and your own goals and metrics. Not anyone else’s.

It’s so easy to get caught up with all those external metrics for success, but can you really sustain that long term and still feel excited about showing up every day?

Honestly, answer this question for yourself:

Curious what came up for you. Feel free to share in the comments if you want.

Most of the time, it doesn’t look like a bad decision. It looks like something reasonable you kept agreeing to… until it slowly became something you just bear with as a necessity. It worked for other people, so it should work for me, too, right?!

But what if it just… doesn’t?

That’s the part worth paying attention to.

It’s not always about finding better strategies or doing more. It’s also about reducing and cutting off what isn’t and what no longer works for you.

Because… over time, that energy drain will cost you more than it’ll benefit you.

P.S. From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely want to thank the following people for commenting on my last post and personally reaching out. It means the world to me.

• Sabrina Ahmed (Moving Forward After Loss) who writes about high-functioning pressures and quiet burnout resulting from loss or life disruptions.

• Angela Yuriko Smith (Authortunities) who helps writers build sustainable creative careers rooted in art.

• Julie Diebolt Price (The Ageless Adventurer) who is an avid traveler and photographer sharing her adventures and helpful photography tips.

• Sam Messersmith (The Wandering Willow) who helps you reconnect with nature and your inner world through reflective writing, wisdom, and gentle guidance.

• Michelle Laurie Smith (Salty Divas) who celebrates and empowers 50+ trailblazers to write your story, launch your business, and take that trip.

• Shoko Carpenter (EASY - Education As You Like It) who helps the younger generation build confidence and shares stories that bridge generations by learning from one another.

• Sieran Lane (The Transgender Therapist) who uses his psychotherapist experience to share fun, insightful stories to elevate your fiction writing skills.

• Maria Gamb-Lipari (The Full Life Collective) who writes insightful, heartfelt stories for women building beautiful lives (check out some of her yummy recipes, too).

• Marni Battista (Unscripted: Screw the Should Life) who helps women over 40 redesign their burnt out, overfunctioning, “no longer working” lives from the inside out.

If any of their Substacks intrigue you, take a look and give them a follow or subscribe. Let’s support each other organically rather than letting an algorithm decide for us.